Netherlands: Tulips and Keukenof

4/19/2023

Well. I specifically came to Amsterdam to see this so-called once in a lifetime experience that you cannot see anywhere else in the world: THE TULIPS - really, any and all bulbs including hyacinths and daffodils. I met a couple on my Colombia trip last year that told me to come here RIGHT NOW, not a week earlier or later. So I booked this trip to, yes, see other parts of northern Europe, but to come see these 'tulips'.

And man, that was a sight to be seen. I used THIS IS HOLLAND tours (for which I also did the A'dam lookout and 5D virtual after the bus ride, the A'dam lookout was not impressive at all, but the building's meaning and other dealings are - the sunset was abysmal) and so they took us on a maybe 45 min luxury 2-decker bus ride to a tulip farm where there were no crowds and just fields of colorfully organized flowers. This is just for bulbs so the flower heads, as pretty as they are, are deadheaded right after blooming. It's a little emotionally hurtful. I hope at least they send them somewhere to use in an arrangement or something - I forgot to ask. But there was a huge field of tulips, all different colors. Then in the front were my favorite, the hyacinths - I have 3 in my front yard and can smell them distinctively when over 100 feet away, so imagine thousands!!!! There was a cute little store, and I mean little as we are squished but guess that's the nature of AMS, but they sell some really good looking cakes and pies and you get to buy flowers and bulbs - but not for US citizens - they do not give you the certification required to get on the plane. Reminder, you can only bring back a limit of 12 bulbs and they ALL have to have a certification sticker on it. And from a reputable place, meaning not off the street at any vendor. If over 12, you have to fill out a USDA form and I'm not even getting in that business.

So on to Keukenof in the city of Lisse. The parking traffic makes no sense. If you have a car, good luck. Buses take priority IN and OUT. And it's at least a 1/2 mile walk from your car to the front. I wasn't expecting much, to be honest. So when I walked in and saw acres of manicured lawns, sections of precisely arranged flowers and hundreds of paths leading you to waterways, hammocks, hanging photo frames, water walking stones and small nature trails, I was astonished. As always, I walk straight to the back hoping the masses didn't reach it yet - walked about a mile or so and through this huge indoor building with more spectacles along with 2 small store fronts, out to the back where the hyacinths took over and to the back.... entrance! Yep, another 'extra' entrance as they call it. And there were just as many people, ugh.

Well, you should go.

The ground water is high so the soil is always moist so can't really sit on the grass. You won't be able to get super close to 70% of the arrangements, for good reason, as they are behind a rope. You won't get lost but you won't go down the same path twice. There are several large food stations (better than stalls in the States at places like this) and they have a variety of hot fresh food from lasagna to Dutch salads to pizzas. There is a windmill and you can look over the fields of flowers. There also is a boat that takes you around them apparently. You could spend hours here if you had a good companion.

And there were dogs. Most all nice- I almost got taken out (jumping, not aggressive) by a Weimaraner, of course, owners don't know how to properly train and socialize this breed anywhere I see. Just like Dalmatians. Anyways, vet stuff. I decided to take photos of some I passed by near flowers.

I got tired after 3 hours - most tours give you 2. Back to the bus and on our way to a canal cruise to see windmills. All I can say is, what windmills? There was probably only one we saw up close. Others were miles in the distance. Worthless cruise. I still don't know much about the history of the city nor do I know how a windmill actually works!! That tells you how worthless it was.

Snored my way on the return trip, ate an OK burger at the 'famous burger restaurant' The Butcher - sorry, no country can beat a true American burger like the good ol US of A. The meat was great by itself, but not seasoned. They rely on the toppings for which I created my own: fried egg, jalapeños, Edam cheese, pickles, bacon and their special sauce. Their fries I could also live without. But it's a big thing here.

Ferry Life

So there is a ferry you can take to get to the other side of Amsterdam, Overhooken is where A'dam and THIS IS HOLLAND are. The ferry was way too simple - take F3, right behind Ams central station, there is a passenger tunnel but you have 2 other options of getting there (hint, one is to go through the station itself and follow the signs). The ferry is clearly marked and takes off every 10 mins or less depending on if they have 2 running at the same time. Even when I returned at 10pm, there is still so much pedestrian (and bicycle) traffic, you are never alone and it is always packed.

The People

AMS is, if you didn't know or learning more, a very liberal city - really Holland the country is. And just to be clear, Holland = The Netherlands (there is probably something deeper but for newbies...). Holland has always been 'liberal' and relaxed. They were neutral in the 1st and 2nd wars (even though Germany still fckd them over, they just relaxed knowing too much resistance would cause a demise - and thus, they have pretty much all their original buildings - well, except the Rotterdam and probably some other cities). Dutch, don't hate me with my brief intro here. But, The Netherlands is friendly to prostitution (it's legal), gay rights and marriage (it's legal), nudity (open discussions), religious freedom (pick one) and nationality (lots of Moroccans etc here). It's sad to know, though, that, what, something like 3 million Holland Jews had to be persecuted for just minding their own damn business. Can you imagine? What was left, a shyt ton of blonde blue eyes - and that still exists in numbers today, along with the red hair (I absolutely love the mermaid Ariel red hair on the females here, so beautiful). Holland has the tallest people in the world - my driver had to be scaling 7 foot. Most women are taller than the men. Most are friendly. The rudeness comes with not knowing how to say 'excuse me' when passing by walking - that's the only time I really got a generalized Dutch personality.